【卢军宏太平绅士心理学系列讲座四】以共情同理心达成心理认同 4. Reaching acknowledgement through empathy 

以共情同理心达成心理认同

【卢军宏太平绅士心理学系列讲座四】

(卢军宏太平绅士:意大利锡耶纳大学荣誉客座教授、英国西苏格兰大学佛学与哲学讲师、澳洲心理学专家高级文凭、澳大利亚高级心理辅导师、世界著名心灵导师)

  心理辅导,在心理学当中是一个至关重要的过程。因为心理对人类的行为和精神产生了一系列的正面和负面的作用,所以在心理辅导模式上,也要把它分为几个种类来辅导那些病人。一般的说,从病人的行为和认知,以及其个人的文化及心理分析,来了解和治疗。所以,用心理学主要是对那些产生行为以及付诸于情绪行为上的问题,进行重叠性的心理辅导。

  在医生对这些病人进行辅导的过程当中,实际上就必须抱有同情心和理解心。首先最主要的是能够分享他们的感受,几乎等于换位思考,让他能够理解,你现在是用他的观点在和你沟通,你就能够挖掘他深层的意识而改变他现有的意识。

  另外作为一个心理学专家,你必须要训练他的“共情”,也就是说必须持续被病人的情况和观点所感动,同时不要掺杂自己的个人观点,只是不停的从他所叙述的事情当中,让他感同身受,不断的让他感到你能接受他的情绪和观点。

  在心理学方面,共情就是训练反射力。举个简单例子,治疗师要像镜子一样,这个病人说:某某某让我抓狂,我就想打他。治疗师就要说:是啊,这种事情很生气,如果是我的话,我也会很难过。然后这个病人说:但我不知道该怎么结束。这个时候治疗师也应该说:这个事情让你很困惑,是的,如果换成我,我也会感到一种挫败感和结束感。然后当你得到对方的认同之后,他们对你所讲的话更能宣泄他们的感受。这个时候,你才可以在这种反射的方式下,让他们感受这个世界很容易理解,因为这个世界当中这些因素早就存在,佛学中就称为“随缘”。

  今天跟大家讲的共情、同理心,英文为empathy。一般不断的用共情辅导,接受同理心,这就是临床心理学重叠,这样才会让被治疗者在同一个层次上拥有正常的心理视觉。

4. Gaining trust and understanding through empathy

Counselling is an important process in psychology. As what we think has a series of positive and negative effects on our minds and behaviours, the counselling model is thus divided into different types of counselling for patients. In general, the patient is treated by understanding the patient’s behaviour, cognition, culture and by analysis of their minds. Hence, in psychology, doctors mainly provide multifaceted counselling for behaviours, including those related to emotions and consciousness.

A doctor should have both sympathy and empathy in the process of counselling their patients. The most important thing is to be able to feel what they feel, to ‘walk in their shoes’, so that the patient understands that you are communicating with them from their perspective. Thus, you are able to uncover their inner consciousness and change their present awareness.

In addition, as an expert in psychology, you must cultivate empathy. This means that you need to continually be sensitive to the patient’s circumstances and perspective and at the same time refrain from expressing your personal opinions. Continually make them feel that you empathise with how they feel during their session and let them feel that you can accept their feelings and perspectives.

In psychology, empathy trains your reflection skills. To give a simple example, the therapist is like a mirror. When the patient says, “This person makes me crazy, I feel like hitting him,” the therapist can then say, “Indeed, this situation is maddening, if I were you, I would probably do the same”. The patient then says, “But I do not know how to end this”. At this point, the therapist should say, “This situation makes you feel confused. Indeed, if I were you, I would also feel a sense of defeat”. After you have gained the trust and understanding of the patient, your words will have a greater cathartic effect on their emotions. At this point, through the process of reflection, you can help them feel that this world is easily understood because these situations have long since existed in this world. In Buddhism, this is known as “acting in accordance with karmic conditions”.

Today, I have talked about empathy. Continually using empathy in counselling and accepting empathy in return is, in clinical psychology, the multifaceted thinking brought about by back-and-forth communication. Only then can the doctor and the patient share points of view on an emotional level.